An update, or, How great it feels to see things work out

It's Sunday. The slammers seem to have abandoned their game. This makes me glad, although I can't say that our neighbors were impressed with James and I last night. They will get over it, much as I got over the slamming.

To Fargo yesterday afternoon... by the time we got there, the parents had arrived and my friend had been not only let in the room, but included - by both the family (although begrudgingly by some) and the Merit Care staff.

I must apologize, since I didn't get the full story yesterday. My friend was not allowed in the room, until the wishes of the family were known - not due to the wishes of the family. While this changes things a bit, since HIPPA forbids the release of health information to non family members, the fact remains that in North Dakota my friend would not have been able to become family with his boyfriend. This is where the tragedy lies.

In any case, enough bantering about the legals... know that our friend is in stable condition and they will know more tomorrow.

Off now to spend the final moments with my friend Ali before she departs back down south. Coffee and good conversation ensue.

Peace::Ben::TeamCulturePulse

Sad Turn of Events, or, Brace Yourself, I'm About to Get Political

There is slamming of doors. Over and Over. Bang, Boom. It is irritating to me - not only the very sound, but the absence of need for such behavior. People, as selfish beings, care not for the others that are inconvenienced.

The "slammers" are laughing. They think it's quite clever how loudly they can slam their doors... they are having a contest and a good chuckle. They are grating my last nerve. It isn't there fault though.

This was a bad week - all around, and I thought I'd escape it when Friday's bell tolled 5. It amazes me how wrong I can be. The bad stuff was not just personal or professional, but a mix of the two, coupled with terrible events happening to those I care about. I was vilified by a member of the arts community I work for because of her personal bias against me. My nephew was vilified by his kindergarten teacher because he is too shy. My sister and her husband work to make sure this experience doesn't ruin education for him. A friend's longtime family pet died, and her kids found him. How to explain what has happened? Hiding tears and stay strong.

A friend and colleague who I have had the honor of directing was diagnosed with lung cancer, and the outlook is not promising. To California to see a specialist, he tells me. He throws in a joke, with a genuine laugh. We hug. Again, tears, but this time their ownership was mine. Hide them, stay strong, and hope for the best.

A teacher who was one of the single most influential forces in my life, passed away after a terrible battle with cancer just yesterday. Her influence was not only educational, but social as they were close friends of the family. So close to the holidays. Tears, again, joined by those of my family. Pray for peace for the family.

Cancer is a scary word - but for my family, it is a word just like any other. It took my maternal Grandmother. It took my paternal Grandfather. It took a great aunt and a second cousin. It is currently battling my mother, two more aunts, and several extended family members. I hate it. My mother told me today "I believe everyone has cancer, some people just die from other causes before they find out."

This was my week. I had hoped to find relief in the calm of an empty Saturday. I've got a friend coming from afar for a visit this evening. I clean my laundry room too keep busy.

A phone call today is the final straw. A friend, new to our social circle, had a hear attack last night. He was in his low 30's, and very healthy... in great shape. There may have been other circumstances leading to this tragic event, but their place is not here.

This man found his way into our social circle when he began to date a friend of mine, who also happens to be male. It was easy to accept him - he was kind, caring, and enjoyable. They were a gay couple trying to make love work in the conservative area of Grand Forks.

As it stands right now, my friend is not allowed in to the hospital room to see his boyfriend, due to the wishes of his parents. He, of course, has no legal rights, nor will he ever, as long as the current state of things is allowed to prevail. Fear and bigotry, hatred and cowardice have won out, and we create a second class citizenship. I am going down see my friend because someone has to. He's just sitting in Fargo, with no information, no rights, and a lot of fear. Congratulations America.

But what do we do? We can't be political - or we face polarizing ourselves. We can't make a scene - we have to remain neutral. Hoping we can bring some peace to the situation, a trip to Fargo is impending.

Mix all the tears together: tears of tragedy, tears of loss, tears of hatred, tears of fear. Blend them all and hope for a better day.

Peace::Ben::Team CulturePulse

Tis the Season, or, You're of no use where you're not.

It's 6:25. I'm still in my office. It's dark out, so I had to actually turn on my fluorescent lights. I detest fluorescent lighting. I have this theory that it sucks out your soul, creativity and will to live. And people say I'm overdramatic.

So, if the fluorescent lighting doesn't make things saucy enough, my iTunes just got to "lonely Goatherd" from the sound of music. Seriously. Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo.

Just when the song seems to have gone on forever, the iTunes transition magic occurs, seamlessly, and I'm now at Gwen Stafani's "Wind It Up," which, as it were, samples "Lonely Goatherd." This is not intentional placement - it was a random occurrence that led to a seamless transition. This is one of life's wonderful moments. Truly.

It has been well over a month since I've posted, and I'm going to own that. I have several drafts of blogs in the queue, but never got around to publishing them. These things happen.

Time, though a social construct, guides our lives. I was thinking 'bout the concepts of time and money the other day. I changed my checking account to some other version of a checking account that gains interest and has no ATM fees. I have no idea what it was, but the no ATM fee excited me, so the transition occurred. It occurred to me that my money was not sitting in a vault somewhere. There was a computer that controls my money with a string of 0s and 1s. This disturbs me - since physical money or the system on which it is based has no reality. It's all a social construct.

Time is the same way. We move about our days in strings of meetings, agendas, to do lists, and deadlines. This is much more an American philosophy - at least it wasn't present when I lived and worked in England. The only time construct that existed there was tea at 3 (which never included tea, but rather beer from the White Horse Pub outside the VEI building where I worked) and family. Holiday from June - August. Weekends on the mainland. Time was a way of living life.

Here, time takes away life, if we allow it. By the way, right now, "This is Halloween" from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is playing. How very eclectic.

I want to get into why things are so busy. In addition to the typical MSP stuff. There are some exciting, upcoming things which you will be among the first to be privy.

First, on a CulturePulse note. CulturePulse has been in conversations with the ND Council on the Arts to expand statewide. A state-wide culturepulse would be an amazing advancement for the state's arts and culture presenters as well as artists. I will get into the specifics at another time, but know this is a very exciting future.

Also, there are three arts organizations who are looking to move to the next level, and are planning a "merger" of sorts. I can't disclose the three arts organizations yet, but this concept would create the 2nd largest arts organization in the community, both in terms of staffing and budget. I believe they would be the largest presenting organization in the state, in terms of programming. This is one of my personal projects, and I'm uber excited about it. I'll provide details here as the happen - but this will really put a fire under these organizations.

Lastly, and this is far too early to give any details, but the concept of a community collaborative arts center has taken leaps forward, and look for more on that to come in 2007.

These three projects dominate all of my nonwork spare time, and leave room for little else.

I went back to Iowa last weekend for an alumni board meeting at my alma mater Waldorf. In a very exciting turn of events, somehow managed to end up president of the board. I now have the honor of speaking at graduation commencement, so it's a good thing I kept my cap, gown and hood. While driving back, I decided to stop in Iowa and visit my friend Chase, who I just recently met at Waldorf Homecoming. I was very glad I did. Though I was with someone I barely knew, It was amazing alone time for me. It was reflection time. It was a time to discuss anything, or nothing.

It was one of those amazing, awe inspiring moments that seemed like a half hour, but was really 5. Seriously. We met for coffee at 5:30, and finally got out of the coffee shop at 10:30. After that, I was able to sleep again.

Note: prior to that, I'd had this annoying insomnia for almost a month - going on only 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Hated it.

One of the most amazing things to come out of the conversation was very much a "grass is greener" situation. Since both of us have traveled abroad extensively in our college days, we were bantering about what it meant for us to be in Grand Forks and Sioux Falls, respectively. We were talking about lives of service. We were talking about making a difference. The question came up, well, couldn't we make a difference no matter where we are?

Chase, gave response in the form of a quote. "You are of no use where you're not."

Think about that. Ponder it. See if it causes a transformation.

Then get out there and make a difference.