Idealism, Smidealism, or, Maybe it's the Weather

I am an idealistic person. Sometimes it is a positive. Sometimes it is a negative.

I think about these things when I ponder decisions... am I just making a rash idealistic decision? Have I thought this through?

As is the blessing with human nature, however, we are multi-faceted. Today, I am a dualistic person. Today I am miserable.

When most people say they are miserable it translates to very unhappy; full of misery. That is not what I mean. I mean that I am miserable to be around today.

I think everyone has those days where they can barely stand themselves. Much like an infant throwing a tantrum for reasons they don't even know, I am sauntering through my day with a furrowed brow for no apparent reason.

My German heritage tells me to blame it on the weather. Gloomy days cause these things, my Grandmother would say. Then, most likely, she would shove fattening German foods towards me, because nothing feeds the soul like some unhealthy decisions. I'm serious on this - gloom is dissuaded by kuchen and the like. If you don't believe me, try it some times.

Since there is no kuchen to be found in my vicinity, I am drinking a coke. I don't drink soda, typically, so this is unique to me (at least straight soda... toss some Morgan in there and we're in business). It tastes like acid on my tongue, so naturally, I love it.

I wonder about days like today. How can typically high energy people with passion for life fall in to days where everything infuriates them? It started at my lunch meeting when I couldn't get the WiFi to work in the restaurant. Don't advertise it if it is not going to work. I was irritated about parking. I was irritated at the students who were walking on the street instead of the sidewalk. I was irritated at my car for being low on gas. I was irritated at my own irritation.

I was my own walking contradiction. It's delicious, actually.

Of course, I am traveling this course with a smile on my face so no one will suspect that I, too, have my "Bea Arthur" days. It's like being in a play, only one where no one will pay the $5 to see it. Of course, that irritates me as well.

I laugh as I type this. My cynical humor has amused me. The caffeine has given me a bit of a rush. Things are looking up.

Never mind. It just started to rain.

lol. Peace::Ben::Team CulturePulse